Without knowing any of the above, these are the five steps that would make the most sense:

1.  Copy every single document you can put your hands on and photograph all of the contents in your home. Store them in a safe place, preferably not at home.

2.  Put away a nest egg so that you won’t be strapped if he leaves you without access to funds.

3.  If you don’t have a job outside of the home, begin to prepare a resume that includes letters of recommendation.

4.  Get a credit card in your own name.

5. Research and interview attorneys.

Photo by ShawnaMarie_Potography

Obviously the music is a big part of why this song was so uplifting for me but the lyrics will give you an idea. So my friends, please read on about Walk On.

Oh ain’t life wonderful
When everything is right
But sometimes wonderful
Can fall apart sometimes
When your troubles knock you down
Pick yourself up off the ground and

Walk on
Walk on
Nothing ever stays wrong that long
Walk on
Oh walk on
Don’t just stand there in the storm
Walk toward the light till you find the sun
And you’ll be better off in the long run
And walk on

Oh it’s a heartache when love comes to an end
But even though your heart breaks
You know it’s gonna mend
Keep the faith right through goodbye
And don’t you ever break your stride

Walk on
Walk on
Nothing ever stays wrong that long
Walk on
Oh walk on
Don’t just stand there in the storm
Walk toward the light till you find the sun
And you’ll be better off in the long run
And walk on

Walk on
Walk on
Nothing ever stays wrong that long
Walk on
Oh walk on
Don’t just stand there in the storm
Walk toward the light till you find the sun
And you’ll be better off in the long run
And walk on

Walk on
Walk on
Ohhh walk on
Walk on
Oh walk on

Just a P.S. A friend just invited me to Reba’s concert on October 15th!!!! Color me very happy!

The gist of the stories was that the husband had left the marital home and filed for divorce. The children reacted badly to their father because,  in their eyes, he had abandoned their family. Their father was the bad guy in their minds.

In the wife’s eyes, he was the bad guy because he had drained the bank accounts, charged up all of their credit cards to the limit and therefore cut off her ability to pay bills. She saw the merciless actions of the man she had married years earlier.

Suddenly, the husband called the wife and said that he was sorry and wanted to come back home and get their lives back on track.

A part of her wanted to say yes because she still loved him. A part of her was suspicious because she was acutely aware of the deceitful things he had already done. She was worried that he only wanted to come back home so that he could get the valuables still in the house. Wondering how she should handle the situation, she told him she would think about it but that she didn’t think it was possible.

Why he had presented her with such a change of attitude, she couldn’t figure out. She got her answer like a bolt of lightning when her kids came through the front door after seeing their father.

Her children had become a chorus of accusers. They were filled with statements and questions like the following:

• Dad is sorry and he wants to come back home.

• He says he doesn’t want a divorce but you do.

• Why won’t you forgive him?

• Why are you doing this to us?

• How can you do this to our family and to Dad?

The electricity from the lightning made the light bulb light up. He didn’t want to be the bad guy. He was a mission to get the kids on his side any way possible. Therefore, he created the new scenario so that the mother became the bad guy.

Photo Kirpernicus

Some people believe the “happily divorced” comes after a divorce party. I don’t happen to agree.

Women who have gone through the divorce process often feel like the proverbial “dragged behind a truck” image.

All women need to take a step back and sort through their feelings and own them. They need to understand that resentments, concerns, fears, anger and guilt are very normal.

They need to remember that the mistakes we made in our pasts are not what is important. It’s what we learned from our mistakes that is important.

So as difficult as it is, put your best foot forward. Pay it forward by helping out someone else. Little by little and step by step you will you will arrive at your destination, “happily divorced.”

The sky is the limit when you believe that and then do what needs to be done.

Photo by turnips

There is a nationally-syndicated daytime talk show that wants to hear from you if you are currently going through a divorce. They’re hoping to follow your journey as you start over, figure things out with children, finances, friendships, family and dating, and ultimately pick up the pieces. By participating, you can inspire and empower other moms going through divorce.

Note: You must live within 3 hours of NYC. If you’d like to share your story, email DaytimeTVShow@gmail.com ASAP with your name, phone number, a self description and a photo.

And let them know you heard about it here!

Thanks!

You have related abusive stories and some of you have had your husbands neglect you or cheat on you. Yet you are not certain about which way to turn and you are still hanging on.

So many of you have swept your concerns under the proverbial carpet and have invited your estranged husbands back into your beds.

Here is the thing. A brief escape that brings past memories and feelings to the surface may give you a temporary high. But in the long run, it can be detrimental because your vision of reality becomes clouded.

The best thing is to ask yourself a couple of questions before you take a plunge into temporary pleasure between the sheets.

1.  Why are we getting divorced?

2.  Take the answer to #1 and ask: What if anything has changed?

Your answers will tell you what to do. Are you ignoring reality in an effort to feel less lonely and less of a failure temporarily?

Are you grasping at a quick fix to your problems or are you taking a nosedive into the very same quicksand that triggered your divorce in the first place?

Only you will have the answers.

Photo by delynraevandyke

A few other points regarding Social Security benefits for you:

If you re-marry someone who is receiving Social Security benefits because he is the dependent of a wage earner such as a widower, your benefit checks will stay the same.

Remember that your Social Security benefits are based on your own work history or your ex spouse  – whichever is more – at the time you turn 65. So if you were a stay at home mom, you are entitled to half of his Social Security benefits. But, here is the clincher, you must have been divorced for at least 2 years before you can file.

If your ex spouse dies, you will receive 100% of his Social Security benefits. If he remarries, you and his second wife can receive benefits. If you are disabled, you can begin to collect at age 50.

What you receive has no effect on your ex spouses benefit. He receives the same dollar amount whether or not you are receiving 50% of his benefits. Remember to keep his social security number stored someplace so that when the time comes, you can file.

Photo by KimTheWolf

When you actually receive your divorce decree can affect your financial future. It is estimated that one out of five women over sixty five gets her total income from Social Security.

That is pretty frightening, especially with the questionable future of Social Security.

If you have worked prior to your divorce, you will get your own benefits. In too many cases, your ex-husband’s benefits may be larger and you need to know where that leaves you.

The average benefit paid to a worker in 1999, who retired at 65, was $780.00 per month.

The average benefit paid to a couple in 1999, who retired at 65, was $1310.00 per month.

The average benefit paid to a woman was about 25% less than the husband’s because they were often out of the work force for longer because of raising a family. In addition, women still earn less than men in most industries. The scary part is that a woman earns about 75% of what a man earns. Therefore, women will receive less Social Security than men.

This is the part that many women don’t know. If you have been married for ten or more years and don’t get remarried,  you can may get Social Security benefits based on your ex-husband’s earnings when you reach age 62.

That is still true if he has remarried or hasn’t retired. So, you are entitled to 50% of your ex-husband’s Social Security. Keep in mind that the benefits you receive will be either based or your own income or your ex-husband’s and you will receive your benefit based on the larger of the two payment numbers – his income vs. yours.

Photo by kevbeaux

You are unhappy in your marriage but you have not decided for sure if divorce is the right thing for you.

Some days you think you should try to work it out and you try to focus on his good points. You say to yourself, “He is a good provider. He loves the kids. He helps around the house. So what is so bad about this marriage?”

Then other days, you are sure that divorce is on the horizon and you are miserable. You say to yourself, “He is so mean. He does nothing to show me that he cares. I am sure that he is fooling around. He is never there for me.”

You waffle from one day to the next and from one minute to the next. Your concerns are frightening you. You don’t know how you will survive without him. You worry about the effect a divorce might have on your children.

You dream about what it would be like to have a marriage that was filled with love. You dream about your knight in shining amour.

Buzz! Warning! Warning! Do not ask friends or family what you should do! Warning! Whatever decision you make, it must be your own! Warning! This is not the time to listen to what others say. If you make a decision based on what someone else says, you will make the wrong decision.

Only you can decide and you will know what you need to do when the time is right.

Photo by Dr Keats

Apparently, they have been estranged for over five years and have not  lived together since then.

I do remember hearing that Joe Jackson blamed his wife for Michael’s death. I wonder if that might have been the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back.

It’s hard to believe that he could have blamed her with all of the issues that Michael had, not to mention the ones that Joe Jackson caused.

My heart breaks for that poor woman and all that she has been through. She has sole custody of Michael’s three children, Prince Michael, Paris and Blanket.

Katherine is a Jehovah’s Witness and therefore does not believe in divorce. So what is the alternative for her? My prayers are with her and the three children.

Photo by MorganR1214