A Woman’s Guide to Divorce

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Ladies, please do the best you can to be optimistic about your future as you read the 10 Steps For The Road Ahead! The first step is the most important one. Incorporate positive thoughts into everything you say and do. Think positively, believe in yourself and your abilities and work toward that end. Do what needs to be done and have faith!

When I began to focus on the positive instead of the negative about my situation, things began to change. I must admit that I am strong and hard working. I’m sure you are too. You must be, after all, you are a stay at home mom!

I am also lucky in that I am confident and positive in my thinking. If you are confident and positive in your thinking, you’re ahead of the game. If you are not positive and confident, start to become positive and confident. Believe that you can and you will.

I have evolved to the point that I no longer shoulder the blame for things that were out of my control. You can evolve too. I know that I have made mistakes, BUT I am confident in the fact that I acted in the best way that I could have, with the information that I had at the time. I feel really good about the person that I have become. It is a wonderful feeling to be excited about what the future holds instead of anxious!

I know that all of you who are facing situations like I described, will also be more than fine, if you just believe and do what needs to be done! It’s time to have faith and evolve.

10 Steps for the Road Ahead

1. Believe in yourself, your abilities, and your strength! You will be ok. Just believe and do what needs to be done.

2. Save everything and don't assume anything about anybody.

3. Remove or photocopy all important papers. Note, with proof, all marital debt and assets at the time of separation. Remember credit cards, frequent flyer miles, bonus points, stocks, IRA's, mortgages, etc.

4. Change the PIN on everything that you can. (Remember that he knows all of your personal information including your SS number, mother's maiden name, kid's birthdays and your anniversary. (Well, maybe not kid's birthdays or your anniversary.)

5. Remove your spouse as your power of attorney and healthcare surrogate.

6. Take pictures or videos of all assets and document when and how each was obtained, and the value of each.

7. Prepare an expense statement for yourself and each child. include proof for everything.

8. If there has been abuse, get a Protection From Abuse Order so that he can not come into the marital residence.

9. Research divorce laws in your state and whatever specific laws that may pertain to your situation, such as military laws. Interview attorneys. Take notes during the interviews. Be aware of attorneys who try to "sell" themselves to you. Don't be gullible or intimidated.

10. Prepare a resume and research your local job market.