Emotional abuse tiptoes into relationships. Believe it or not, people can be involved in emotional abuse without knowing it. Are you one of those people? Are you in a toxic relationship with a spouse, a child, a parent, a co-worker or even a friend? Is it possible that you are experiencing emotional abuse?
A perfect beginning is part of almost every emotionally abusive relationship. As the abuse begins to creep in, the person being emotionally abused begins to believe that something has gone wrong with the other person internally. After all, that person was so wonderful in the beginning. The injured party then sets out to figure out what has happened to the other person emotionally.
Unable to abandon the relationship, the injured party begins to ponder what it was that he or she might have done to trigger the problem. Is he or she the problem that is causing the issue? Has the other person always been this self-centered and focused on his or her needs and desires only? (People who are self-centered are highly resistant to change because often they feel entitled or often have had deep-rooted emotional injuries.)
Nothing is their fault. Little by little the blame the emotional abuser places on others becomes directed at you. Promises that are not kept and excuses that are made begin to erode your confidence and happiness and depression begins to set in. You are disappointed and hurt. It is difficult to be happy when people in your life continually pull you down.
When you tell a good person that his or her actions have hurt you, they will usually give you a heart-felt apology and try to avoid hurting you in the future. Not so with the self-centered and emotionally abusive person. You may not realize this but often you will be the one to apologize even when you haven’t done anything wrong. Confusion sets in during and after the conversations and your self-confidence is eroded.
Does anyone regularly dismiss or disregard your opinions, thoughts and feelings? Do you get the silent treatment or do they withhold attention or affection? Do they notice or care about how you feel? Do they not show empathy or ask questions in order to find out more about how things can be made better? (The last thing they want is to have a discussion to make things better. Their focus is on having things their way.)
Easier said than done is to disengage from the other person. That means physically and or enthusiastically. Stop being reactive and wounded and become energetic in your disengagement from the interaction with the person.
No guarantees but your previous way of handling emotional abuse hasn’t worked has it?
First Photo: evelynniam